Transitions

As I sit here in bed knowing that I need to get some rest because I have an early and long day tomorrow followed by a long week of packing and moving on top of it all, I have a million things running through my mind. I often wonder if everyone goes through that period where they want to be someone different and try different things but then doesn't know exactly how to do it or handle it. 

I am in a transition period. I have mostly married friends who have their own lives and are living them. Don't get me wrong, being married is not something that I would like to do right now or even next year, but sometimes I feel like maybe something is wrong with me. Why does everyone else have this milestone crossed off their list at such a young age? Am I crazy to not necessarily want that NOW? 

See, here in the south, it seems like its more acceptable to be married at a young age and have kids not long after. I have friends who got married when they were barely 20 and while there is nothing wrong with that, I can't help but feel anxiously weird about it. I am well past 20, so there's no need to worry about that happening, but still. I feel like at 23 almost 24, I have missed out on so much that I have wanted to do in the past because of stupid inhibitions of my own. Do people who get married at that age not feel like they have missed out on things too? I feel like I am the crazy one. 

I had gotten really scared lately that I would never get out of this town and I would live here forever and that is not something I wanted. I am finally moving, but I feel apprehensive about it. I just sometimes feel like I don't really have a place per se. Like I haven't figured out who I am exactly yet and all my friends seem to know who they are and where they are going. I feel out of the loop for so many reasons. 

I am excited to move in a few short days and not replace my friends with new ones, but meet new people and learn new things. I want to get out of my comfort zone and do things I wouldn't normally do. I want to go places and branch out and live for a while before I settle down. I am 23 years old for crying out loud. 

I remember telling my mom in the many talks we had before she passed away that I wanted to be independent and support myself on my own before I got married just to prove that I could do it. I have always been an independent person who likes to do things for herself on her own time. I want to just show myself that I don't need anyone else to rely on, more specific, a man. 

That being said, I can't wait to settle down one day in the distant future. And God might have a different plan for me, but for now, I think I am going to live and do me for a while. If anything else is meant to happen it will. Change is not something I usually embrace, but this time I am. I am going to do it. I am taking a leap of faith and moving out of this town almost 2 hours from home to delve into life and figure out who I am. 

If you made it this far, please tell me I am not crazy. Right?

miscellaney monday

I must be the worst blogger on the face of the earth. Y'all, I have been so busy with work and life that by the time I get home at night, I can barely stay awake past 10. I'm sorry times a million that I have not been reading blogs or blogging! But I am making time to post a little updates on my life because I know you are all dying to hear. HA!

I am moving. This Friday. I am going to be living with a girl up near Atlanta and I can't tell you how excited I am to finally get out of this town I have lived in basically my whole life. I can't wait to update you and show pictures of the new place. She is also single so we have decided to live Sex and the City like until further notice. 

I accepted the fact that I am the most indecisive person on the planet. I can't seem to make decisions easily and I don't know why that is. It just happens unintentionally. I want so badly to make them fast and painless, but it never happens that way. 

Football season is just around the corner and I am dying for it to be here already. Go Broncos. I may or may not be contemplating going to the Falcons v Broncos game on a Monday night because it is in Atlanta and like 20 mins from my new abode. So what if I have to work the next day. Once in a lifetime experience, right?

I have been planning my best friends baby shower. Yesterday we got the invitations picked out and ordered and now we are in full planning mode. Any tips for this newbie?

I was sad to not be starting back to school last week. I missed it so much and it felt weird to not be going when I would drive by campus and see everyone going to classes. Officially an adult. eeeekk

Can't wait to catch up on your lives and show you my new place! I hope you all have and amazing Monday and start to your week. 4 day work week for me whoop whoop!!!

Peace out lovies!

The real me

So in keeping with my little promise about posting a little about me for all the newbies to my blog, I am going to tell you all a little about me. You don't have a choice but to read this, so buckle up people.

-I started this blog on a whim, but I have met some amazing people through it and while I don't do it as often as I would like, I enjoy it so much more than I ever imagined. It's the best kind of outlet and relaxation for me.

-I am too hard on myself, but I tend to let others slide more often than not.

-I have a mild problem with purses, shoes and jewerly. Oh and cardigans. I have more cardigans than Target and Old Navy put together. Seriously y'all. Not a joke here.

-Both of my parents passed away from cancer. My dad when I was just two and my mom when I was 19. My sister has always been a "mother" figure to me even when my mom was here because we are so far apart in age. 18 years to be exact.

-The only boys that I think will ever be in my life are my nephews. They never let me down. They are growing up too fast. Rewind the clock, please.

-I secretly think I will NEVER get married. It sometimes stresses me out. I don't want to get married now, but the pressure in the south to get married at a young age is ridic. Like really people? You're getting enagaged a week after you graduate college? Don't you wanna live a little or is that just me?

-Reality TV consumes every aspect of my life. You name it, I probably watch it.

-You will never catch me without my iphone.

-I got a real job about 2 weeks after I graduated college and in a field that had nothing to do with my degree, but it pays the bills and I love it. Can't complain too much.

-Everything I own is monogrammed. I'm not overexaggerating in the least. Everything.

-I love to spend money on other people but have the hardest time buying things for myself without feeling guilty. I love any occasion that calls for a gift.

-I can count on one hand the number of people that I trust. 5 or less no doubt.

-I come across as a confident person, but when its just me with my thoughts, I am pretty self-conscious and I have some issues with myself, but I would never let anyone see that weakness.

-I have never been in a wedding. I don't know if I should be glad or worried/insulted. hmm..

-I love sports. Mainly baseball, BRAVES baseball. But I do enjoy some college football and my beloved Denver Broncos.

-I dust once a week. Clean freak isn't even the word I would use to describe myself.

-Clean sheets are my most favorite thing in the whole world.

-Favorite movie ever: Hope Floats. Nothing like some old school Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr. Yummmmmy.

So what do y'all think? Crazy?

Absolutely.

Fridays Letters

It's Friday. The first day I have had time to even think about blogging in what seems like forever, yet somehow I have gained 2 new followers.

For those of you who are new, WELCOME! And just a little forewarning, I love to blog, but lately the posts are few and gar in between! I hope that I can blog a little more because its my favorite!

I want to do a little 'get to know me' post soon so be on the look out everyone, especially y'all newbies! If you have any questions you want to know answers to, just comment or shoot me and email!

Now, on to today's little linkage!

Dear Best Western, I booked you because I have stayed in your rooms before, but this time was more than disappointing. The first room had a shower that didn't work AT ALL and the second room had no hot water. You don't mess with a girl and her hot shower. Sorry I had to leave like that but it wasn't working out for me. Thanks for the refund.

Dear nonexistent maid, I really hope when I get home tomorrow from this work trip that you have cleaned my house and washed all my laundry so that I can enjoy my one day off this week. I would also like clean sheets if you aren't too busy. And if anyone would like to volunteer to clean said house in your free time, feel free to stop by. I can get you the address.

Dear man at the mall, I appreciate the insult you gave me today while trying to sell me skin care products. While I wouldn't have spent $139 on "salt scrub" from the Dead Sea, you didn't have to tell me such things like "The reason you're skin looks like it does is because you don't spend money on good skin care products." Um, really? That is NOT going to sell your product to women. I bet you aren't married because you suck balls. You are never going to get married and all of a sudden I don't feel so bad about my life knowing that you have no game at all.

Oh and one more thing- Ever heard the saying don't bite the hand that feeds you? Well I think you shouldn't insult the women you are trying to sell your products to otherwise you won't have any food on the table or electricity. Deuces, biatch.

Dear hormones, please return my face back to its normal breakout-free self. I don't like getting my feelings hurt my stupid mall salesmen. I like it much better when my face doesn't look like a pizza.

Dear USA, you have the best Olympic team in the world. Those atheletes have been rocking it out so far and they have been causing me to operate on minimal amounts of sleep because I have stayed up late watching. Ready for it to be over and not ready for it to be over. I vote Olympics every year. What do ya think people?! USA USA!

Dear followers, thank you for being awesome and thank you for not unfollowing me due to my lack of posting lately. It speaks volumes. Loves ya for reals!

Happy weekend y'all!!!

Go link up with fellow blogger and person I share my name with, ASHLEY!

A Heavy Heart

Last night I posted a random post and at the end I mentioned that my friend's nephew was on life support after drowning. I had spoken with her earlier in the evening and there hadn't been a change, so they were planning to take him off. I didn't actually know that he had passed away until this morning when I heard it on the radio. 

I usually try to keep my blog fun and light-hearted, but as I lay in bed right now, I have tried to go to sleep and I just can't seem to take my mind off of this, so here I am-blogging in an effort to clear my head and get some sleep. I know we all feel better after we pound it out on our keyboards. 

The pain that it must cause to watch a child pass away, before the parent has to be unbearable. I think we all kind of expect to see our parents pass away in our lifetime, but never do the parents think of having to bury their child at such a young age. 

I am no stranger to death and the affects that it is. I think you all know that I lost my mom to cancer when I was a freshman in college. It's not something that anyone ever gets over and if they tell you it gets better, they have no idea what they are talking about. It never gets better or easier, it just gets bearable throughout the days. 

I am just so heart broken for this family. This baby was only 2 years old and some things are not meant to be explained or understood by us. I believe in God and all that the Bible entails, but it still makes no sense and I have a hard time accepting that it isn't supposed to. God had a plan and this must have been it and while we don't understand, we just have to trust and let him take care of the rest. That's the whole point of having faith-  

TRUST.

Tonight, she told me that her mom (which was the child's grandmother) was taking it hard. Going from being just numb and lifeless to being hysterical the next. I can't imagine the pain that she is going through right now. The parents of this sweet baby can't be doing much better. 

I just feel helpless in the whole scheme and I know that all I can do is be there to help in any way that I can. My poor friend is trying take the role of coordinating everything while dealing with her own grief. I know she is exhausted mentally, physically and most of all emotionally. 

She is one of my sweet blog friends, but also my in real life friend. I have known her since the 7th grade and she is a great person. I don't want to reveal her on the blog because I feel like that would be overstepping a little bit. All I ask is that you continue to pray for this family and pray that they make it through this difficult week and months and years to come. 

If you have made it to the end, thank you for reading. I know that got heavy. I just believe in the power of prayer and that we all have to stick together because we are all fighting the same battle of life. We should always pray for one another, but in times like these especially so. 

Thanks for being great bloggers and friends. I will post more updates and in the mean time, we will resume to our normally scheduled nonsense once this crazy week is over! Hope you are having an awesome week!

life lately..

I know, I know... its almost not even Monday anymore but better late than never right? You love me just the same. I hope...

Y'all, like has been so crazy lately, I almost don't even know where to begin. I am finally settling in to being an adult and getting into a routine. It's harder some days than others but I just have to keep on keeping on. 

So anyways, aside from work, I have been doing alot of catching up on sleep and shopping. Last week was the huge show in Atlanta where all the business owners come stock up on their merchandise and order new stuff. We worked it for the whole week and ended up working 13 days straight after all was said and done. WHEW! It was so worth it but I was a tired girl when it was over. 

I have been eye balling some Jack Rogers and I need some help. Tell me what colors you like the best. Gold? Silver? 

Also, I am in the mood to splurge for a new bag, Michael Kors to be exact. Anyone have one they love and think I should explore? Suggestions are needed before I make a bad choice.

I plan on posting some of my fav link ups this week so stay tuned..

Hope you all have a greattttt week! 

oh and say a small prayer for a friend of mine please. Her 2 year old nephew drown yesterday and they were taking him off life support tonight. Pray for their healing and comforting during such a hard time in their lives. It couldn't have happened to better people.
I am heartbroken for this little guy and his family who is left behind to live their lives without him. Its a sad situation. Just awful...Just please remember them this week as it won't get any easier anytime soon.