Emo much?

Ok y'all, after my very unattractive and unproductive post this morning I think I felt a little better. I did have one more rant this afternoon, but nothing compared to this morning! 

I would like to formally apologize for that little incident, btdubs...I needed it and it did make me feel better! Thanks for all the love and comments because they helped make me smile and I am glad that I could give a good laugh for my favorites! 

Now, on to other things that plague me...

Tomorrow, the mystery person I mentioned the other day who I went to dinner with for their birthday? Well, HE, that's right, HE (I am officially letting you know that it is in fact a he) has a big job interview tomorrow and it may be in another state. I don't want to reveal too much because A. He would kill me and be so angry and B. He doesn't even have the job, its just an interview...for now!

I am super emotional as was well-demonstrated this morning and I have worked myself up about it. He and I have known each other for a long time, probably close to 6 years, and we actually dated for about 4 of those. I am going to spare you the details and long boring story, but we are still very close and very much a part of each other's lives. He is probably my best friend and I love him with my whole entire little heart. He makes me super crazy and I sometimes want to kill him, but then he makes me so happy and I want to be with him 24/7. 

It hasn't been the easiest ride to get to the place we are now, but it has been worth it. Now, we aren't actually dating right now, but we aren't seeing other people either. I can't describe what we are and I might just be fooling myself too, but its something. 

Anywayssssss, he has a big interview tomorrow and I may be more nervous than he is about it. Don't get me wrong, I want him to get the job because he worked hard for that degree and deserves to use it and do what he loves, but damn it, I want him to not have to move to another state. Is that a sign? Should I take that as God telling me that I need to try and relinquish some control and just let what is supposed to happen happen?

Maybe Probably so. 

Is it selfish that I want him to get the job, but at the same time don't? 

Wait, don't answer that because I think know the answer.

I should go stand in the mirror and slap myself really hard in the face right now for even thinking that and being that selfish. 

 {Done. And Done.}

How many times have you heard that stupid saying, "Everything happens for a reason?" A lot right? 

How hard is it to understand that and have peace about it? 

I must be the only person in THIS ENTIRE WORLD that has a hard time...

I know that if he moves it doesn't mean we will never speak or see each other. I just want him close to me knowing that if I need him, he is there. SELFISH! 

Love makes a person do and say some crazy things! Sorry that I am like the most EMO person you have ever met today. I just need a little sleep and chocolate! AND shopping...tomorrow, I shop!

 Say a little prayer for me tomorrow and for him, you know because he is the one who has the FREAKIN' interview. I will try not to cry if and when he gets the position. I will be supportive and loving and then just cry when I am alone..and to you guys of course! :)

Have a fantabulous Wednesday everyone!